One day alok nath went to temple and was praying to lord give him sanskar and good path to walk...as he finished a voice came behind from him..

Which says "bless you" since then he is a spiritual man...rest you know who's voice it was ;D

======================================

Once Rajinikanth went to
RTO office
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Guess wat hapnd . .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
RTO got licence.

===================================================
Scientists make time machine n go in past 100k year back.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
They found Rajnikanth was waiting for them

========================================================
Once Rajnikanth farted & some particles came out of his Ass. Today those particles are packed & sold for Rs.10/-Its called-

"Rajni Gandha"


======================================

Funny Rajnikanth One Liner Jokes

• Rajinikanth does not need a watch, he decides what time it is
•  When Rajinikanth calls 100, it is to ask if everything is OK !
• When Rajinikanth is playing cricket, the rain has to cancel its raining due to the match
• There is no CTL key in Rajinikanth's keyboard, He is always in Control
• When Osama found that Rajinikanth is to help US to find him, he shot himself to death
• If Dracula bites Rajinikanth, then Dracula becomes Rajini's follower
• Ghosts sit around campfire and tell Rajinikanth stories
• Rajinikanth already went to Moon and Mars, that's why there are no signs of life
• Once a Police officer caught Rajinikanth, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning
• Rajinikanth can make onions cry!
• Rajinikanth can watch the Radio !
• Rajinikanth once took 15 wickets in an one day match
• People call 100 for Police help, Police calls Rajinikanth for Help
• Rajinikanth knows Victoria's Secret !
• Rajinikanth built the hospital he was born in
• Harvard got it's MBA from Rajinikanth
• Rajinikanth knows the last digit of pi
• Once Rajinikanth bite an apple and threw it away, not its is known as Apple computers logo
• There is no April 1st in Rajini calendar, because no one can fool him
• Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Rajinikanth's shooting practice
• Rajinikanth can Like a Facebook post even before it is posted
• Rajinikanth died before 20 years, Death doesn't have the courage to tell him yet
• Once Rajinikanth kicked a man, later he is remembered for being the first Man to Land on Moon
• When anyone says "No one is Perfect", Rajinikanth takes it as a personal insult.
• Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin !
• Gmail's email address gmail@rajinikanth.com
• Monalisa got her smile from Rajinikanth
• Rajinikanth know "Choli ke peeche kya hai"
• Rajinikanth got nobel prize in acting.
• When Rajini wants the lights on, he simply turns the dark off !
• When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he already had 3 missed calls from Rajinikanth
• Once Rajinikanth signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!
• Rajinikanth can hit 6 sixes in one ball
• Rajinikanth can play Tequila shot in Cricket
• Rajinikanth stopped playing cricket these days, because even if he plays a defensive shot, it lands on moon
• Once Stephen Hawking tried to convince Rajinikanth, He got what he deserved .
• Rajinikanth counted to Infinity many times
• Its a lie if any country other than India says that they have weapons of mass destruction, because Rajinikanth lives here.
• Rajinikanth can drown a fish
• Hollywood wants to make a movie Alien vs Rajinikanth, but they fear that Rajni may beat the Alien in just few seconds and people don't watch a few
• seconds movie.
• Rajinikanth can play a Violin with a piano
• Rajinikanth knows what came first Egg or Chicken !
• Once death has "Near Rajinikanth experience"
• Once Rajinikanth and Superman had a competition, The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants!
• When Rajinikanth visits Intel's office, they change their caption "Rajini Inside"
• Its only when Rajinikanth jumped onto earth from other planet, All the dinosaurs extincted
• Rajinikanth can make fire using two ice cubes
• Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door
• Guinness World Records requested Rajini to not compete, else their book becomes a single line "All Records Won by Rajinikanth"
• Paul The Octopus was asked to predict Rajini's IQ…. poor Paul!
• Amitabh Bachchan maybe be the host but only Rajinikanth knows Kaun banega crorepati !
• Once Rajinikanth kicked a horse in the chin.. It's decendents were found to be giraffes!!
• When Rajinikanth logs into twitter, twitter informs Rajnikant What's happening!
• Rajinikanth B.com Accounting Answer Paper is Termed as "Accounting Standards"
• When Rajinikanth plays skipping, we face Earth Quakes !
• The earth spins faster when Rajinikanth goes for Running !
• Rajinikanth can speak in Braille
• Rajinikanth once went to The Virgin Islands, later it is know as  "The Islands"
• Rajinikanth beat the Sun in Staring at each other Contest !
• Rajinikanth tears can cure the Cancer, but the sad thing is Rajnikanth never cries
• Rajinikanth can remember the Future !
• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.
• Rajinikanth doesn't age, because time cannot keep up with him
• Rajinikanth can paste something even before he copy it
• When Rajinikanth logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
• There are nothing like seasons, Its just Rajinikanth who changes the temperature when he gets bored !
• Rajinikanth don't like the other side of Moon!  That's why its not visible from earth
• Why Rajinikanth have less hair ?? In old days people used to use them to Cut Diamonds !
• Rajinikanth completely read the book Facebook many times !
• When Google wants to search something, they search Rajinikanth
• Rajinikanth can divide by Zero !
• Rajinikanth can actually run faster than his own legs
• Rajinikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
• Rajinikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
• New theory in Astronomy is, Galaxies are actually Running away from Rajinikanth
• Rajinikanth got his drivers license at the age of 12 Seconds.
• To score more than 1600 in GRE, write Rajinikanth as answer to every question
• Ghosts are actually caused by Rajinikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
• Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
• Rajinikanth once emotionally break down, emotion begged him for mercy
• Rajinikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.
• When Rajinikanth asks you a question, there is no answer
• Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Rajinikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
• Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajinikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
• It takes Rajinikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
• Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajinikanth ' PC will crash.
• Rajinikanth can breathe in Vacuum
• Rajinikanth can type a sentence on a calculator
• Rajinikanth can judge a book by its Cover
• Rajinikanth is the only weapon allowed inside an aeroplane
• Rajinikanth's emails never come back Undelivered
• Light just wishes it can one day beat Rajinikanth
• Rajinikanth can smell the sound
• Cigarettes smoked by Rajinikanth die from lung cancer
• Actually Rajinikanth doesn't walk, he stays at one place and move the earth with his feet
• Rajinikanth can break one side of a glass !
• Rajinikanth can boil a egg in ice water
• Rajinikanth wears sunglasses to protect the Sun from his powerful gaze